You’re giving me some food for thought here Diana. I love that you a ‘pen pal’ on IG. This is what in its essence is what socials are for right?! I also love the idea of culling ‘friends’ This speaks to my suggestion of making our circle of validation smaller. I’m 100% going to do this too because I follow many many more than 200 🥴 I only really use IG as well but find myself mindlessly opening the app beofre my brain has even caught up with my fingers sometimes.
Thank you Gemma for telling us about the Artificial Intimacy podcast which I listened to yesterday . What a lovely expression “ Collective Effervescence “ is , I enjoyed the dialogue around that !
I was actually quite shocked when I read down through your article and you suggested that within your industry a person’s popularity on social media could sway whether they got a job or not! Bizarrely we have just seen a successful West End actor go on a reality show , so was that nothing more than a ploy to raise their number of followers on Instagram to 100k ?
I have never paid much attention before to the number of followers any 1 individual has but now I have gone down the list of people I follow and the numbers they have are astonishing low , particularly when compared to the accounts of others I don’t feel the need to follow ! The only reality show I have consistently watched and enjoyed is Gogglebox , & an original participant who now has a successful career as a tv presenter has a following of 2.6M !! I am tempted to say has the world gone mad when a hugely talented , successful and amazing actress I massively admire has a following less than 0.5% of the reality star !
It is a shame if anyone looks at social media and feels pressurised into doing something they would rather not , because they feel or others persuade them that this is the only way to keep up with their peers . That said if someone has made a conscious decision to hone their craft through hard work and dedication, not stunts that is a lifestyle choice that should be admired and rewarded not criticised or penalised .
Gemma , I would have loved to have taken up your challenge of a social media break …Tik Tok I don’t look at , X I have never
posted or reposted on, Facebook I look at occasionally to see what the villagers have posted , so I could easily give these up for a good while but Instagram……..
I have the equivalent of a pen friend on Instagram that I have been chatting to for over 2 years now ( December post on my IG by way of explanation) She and her husband left Australia yesterday for a 8 week tour of Europe and Scandinavia, Julie often posts family and friends stories only when on her travels , in which she includes me , so this is just 1 of many reasons I don’t feel I can take a break just now!
However I know I spend too much time on Instagram so I am seriously considering from 01:05/24 for a month , only using Instagram for a half hour in the morning and a half hour late evening ( I know I will find this incredibly hard !)
On another note I wonder how much people would benefit from spring cleaning the number of accounts they follow, drastically reducing the number down …I am quite determined the number I follow will never exceed 200 !!!
I found your whole article fascinating and want to comment on it later ( I am currently on a train travelling up to Leeds fora 4 night break , going to see The Syndicate tonight !)
Our family has been trying to do screen time Sundays, so no phones, computers or tv for the whole day and we go out and do something together as a family. It's excellent for us to really connect with our kids and each other on a deeper level and really be present. On other days I feel I need to do better at improving my screen relationship, especially for the sake of my kids and any bad screen habits they could get from me.
I’m also conscious of my little one picking up bad habits when it comes to screen time. He’s 7 and tells me to put my phone down at times. Although I might be doing something productive or necessary on my phone, I think the point he rightly makes is to be present and to leave those things for when we’re not together. I love this idea of no screen Sundays.
There are actually days when I ask myself: “Am I doing enough to promote myself on socials?” Probably not, as I find exhausting posting continuously. I like using Instagram to post some funny stories. I feel successful when I’m achieving even small tasks every day. That is success for me. And when I don’t care anymore, good things come along. We have to live in the present moment. The movie “Soul” thought me that ☺️ when I’m feeling overwhelmed I think about Joe Gardner 💙
1 Both myself and others recognising that I can be entirely responsible for my own welfare and getting myself from A to B under my own steam .
2. Reconnection with family members .
1 We have lived in Wales for 40+ years now and I have some good friends from work days who will on occasion come to the theatre and cinema with me , but they don’t want to to go any further than Cardiff ! My husband has zero interest in both so if I want to go and see something that isn’t coming to Wales ( or not for a long time )then I am going on my own .
So for the first time ever I am entirely responsible for arranging my travel and accommodation , visiting towns and cities I have never been to before. Not wanting to rely on buses or taxis when I get there I also work out how long it will take me to walk to my destination , using my phone to get there ! There are occasions when I might set off in the wrong direction (😂) but I always get to where I need to be and in good time . I am also proud of the fact that I can sit down in a theatre and happily engage in conversation with a complete stranger about why we are there !
2 Having the opportunity to reconnect with family:(slight contradiction to the above but you will understand what I mean )
When I was growing up we lived in Bath but my father was Yorkshire man . When I went up to Sheffield to see White Christmas in December I was able to stay with my last remaining Sheffield cousin Barry and his wife Ellie . We haven’t seen a lot of each other over the years and Barry is probably about 13 years older than me ( I probably had a crush on him when I was a little girl! )but as soon as I was invited into their house I felt instantly at home . I remembered why I loved this couple so much , with their wry sense of humour , and I was told a lot of family history I hadn’t known before. I was treated with infinite kindness and when I wasn’t in the theatre I was taken out and about , visiting the Peak District for the first time!
On my mother’s side I have an uncle and cousin living in London. I can’t ever stay with them because they live in 1 bed apartments, but my uncle , by virtue of his national service after the war is a member of the Victory Services Club , near Marble Arch , so I can book myself in there ! My cousin Melodie lives by herself so she says I have improved her social life immeasurably when I take her to the theatre with me, I think we have probably seen more of each other in the last 18 months than the previous 18 years ! Again I am taking the opportunity to learn family history I didn’t know before !
Sorry for the abrupt ending but I am about to get off the train x
Thank you for sharing Diana. I especially resonate with your first point! I’d probably also put trips trips and doing things on my own on my success list too because it is something I have grown nervous over the years about doing. I took myself on a solo spa trip for my bday in Jan and have also now done a solo hotel stay - just for me! I feel more comfortable in my own company the more I do these little things for myself and sense of joy is immense whilst doing them. Here’s to more solo travel, exploration and joy in the uncomfortable moments for us both!
When I work in hospital, I can often see a mood shift in patients and even colleagues, due to my uplifting spirit. I do get cards or presents just because they felt something more was given. This will be always my biggest success! Got an audition for a show in town! 🍀
Marta I absolutely love this. Your energy is doing wonders for people that I’m sure really need it at that time. And 🥳 to you getting an audition for a job in town. I hope it went / goes well 🙏🏾
You’re giving me some food for thought here Diana. I love that you a ‘pen pal’ on IG. This is what in its essence is what socials are for right?! I also love the idea of culling ‘friends’ This speaks to my suggestion of making our circle of validation smaller. I’m 100% going to do this too because I follow many many more than 200 🥴 I only really use IG as well but find myself mindlessly opening the app beofre my brain has even caught up with my fingers sometimes.
I LOVE Soul! Sounds as though you don’t over use social media - you’re doing better than me most days 😬
Thank you Gemma for telling us about the Artificial Intimacy podcast which I listened to yesterday . What a lovely expression “ Collective Effervescence “ is , I enjoyed the dialogue around that !
I was actually quite shocked when I read down through your article and you suggested that within your industry a person’s popularity on social media could sway whether they got a job or not! Bizarrely we have just seen a successful West End actor go on a reality show , so was that nothing more than a ploy to raise their number of followers on Instagram to 100k ?
I have never paid much attention before to the number of followers any 1 individual has but now I have gone down the list of people I follow and the numbers they have are astonishing low , particularly when compared to the accounts of others I don’t feel the need to follow ! The only reality show I have consistently watched and enjoyed is Gogglebox , & an original participant who now has a successful career as a tv presenter has a following of 2.6M !! I am tempted to say has the world gone mad when a hugely talented , successful and amazing actress I massively admire has a following less than 0.5% of the reality star !
It is a shame if anyone looks at social media and feels pressurised into doing something they would rather not , because they feel or others persuade them that this is the only way to keep up with their peers . That said if someone has made a conscious decision to hone their craft through hard work and dedication, not stunts that is a lifestyle choice that should be admired and rewarded not criticised or penalised .
Gemma , I would have loved to have taken up your challenge of a social media break …Tik Tok I don’t look at , X I have never
posted or reposted on, Facebook I look at occasionally to see what the villagers have posted , so I could easily give these up for a good while but Instagram……..
I have the equivalent of a pen friend on Instagram that I have been chatting to for over 2 years now ( December post on my IG by way of explanation) She and her husband left Australia yesterday for a 8 week tour of Europe and Scandinavia, Julie often posts family and friends stories only when on her travels , in which she includes me , so this is just 1 of many reasons I don’t feel I can take a break just now!
However I know I spend too much time on Instagram so I am seriously considering from 01:05/24 for a month , only using Instagram for a half hour in the morning and a half hour late evening ( I know I will find this incredibly hard !)
On another note I wonder how much people would benefit from spring cleaning the number of accounts they follow, drastically reducing the number down …I am quite determined the number I follow will never exceed 200 !!!
I found your whole article fascinating and want to comment on it later ( I am currently on a train travelling up to Leeds fora 4 night break , going to see The Syndicate tonight !)
Could I ask if you’d like to share one or two of your successes of the past 6 months? Will you do a list for yourself as per my positive prompt
Our family has been trying to do screen time Sundays, so no phones, computers or tv for the whole day and we go out and do something together as a family. It's excellent for us to really connect with our kids and each other on a deeper level and really be present. On other days I feel I need to do better at improving my screen relationship, especially for the sake of my kids and any bad screen habits they could get from me.
I’m also conscious of my little one picking up bad habits when it comes to screen time. He’s 7 and tells me to put my phone down at times. Although I might be doing something productive or necessary on my phone, I think the point he rightly makes is to be present and to leave those things for when we’re not together. I love this idea of no screen Sundays.
There are actually days when I ask myself: “Am I doing enough to promote myself on socials?” Probably not, as I find exhausting posting continuously. I like using Instagram to post some funny stories. I feel successful when I’m achieving even small tasks every day. That is success for me. And when I don’t care anymore, good things come along. We have to live in the present moment. The movie “Soul” thought me that ☺️ when I’m feeling overwhelmed I think about Joe Gardner 💙
Could I ask if you’d like to share one or two of your successes of the past 6 months? Will you do a list for yourself as per my positive prompt
I think 2 positives stand out for me :
1 Both myself and others recognising that I can be entirely responsible for my own welfare and getting myself from A to B under my own steam .
2. Reconnection with family members .
1 We have lived in Wales for 40+ years now and I have some good friends from work days who will on occasion come to the theatre and cinema with me , but they don’t want to to go any further than Cardiff ! My husband has zero interest in both so if I want to go and see something that isn’t coming to Wales ( or not for a long time )then I am going on my own .
So for the first time ever I am entirely responsible for arranging my travel and accommodation , visiting towns and cities I have never been to before. Not wanting to rely on buses or taxis when I get there I also work out how long it will take me to walk to my destination , using my phone to get there ! There are occasions when I might set off in the wrong direction (😂) but I always get to where I need to be and in good time . I am also proud of the fact that I can sit down in a theatre and happily engage in conversation with a complete stranger about why we are there !
2 Having the opportunity to reconnect with family:(slight contradiction to the above but you will understand what I mean )
When I was growing up we lived in Bath but my father was Yorkshire man . When I went up to Sheffield to see White Christmas in December I was able to stay with my last remaining Sheffield cousin Barry and his wife Ellie . We haven’t seen a lot of each other over the years and Barry is probably about 13 years older than me ( I probably had a crush on him when I was a little girl! )but as soon as I was invited into their house I felt instantly at home . I remembered why I loved this couple so much , with their wry sense of humour , and I was told a lot of family history I hadn’t known before. I was treated with infinite kindness and when I wasn’t in the theatre I was taken out and about , visiting the Peak District for the first time!
On my mother’s side I have an uncle and cousin living in London. I can’t ever stay with them because they live in 1 bed apartments, but my uncle , by virtue of his national service after the war is a member of the Victory Services Club , near Marble Arch , so I can book myself in there ! My cousin Melodie lives by herself so she says I have improved her social life immeasurably when I take her to the theatre with me, I think we have probably seen more of each other in the last 18 months than the previous 18 years ! Again I am taking the opportunity to learn family history I didn’t know before !
Sorry for the abrupt ending but I am about to get off the train x
I fear the world has gone a little mad when we view it through the lens of social media Diana, yes!
Thank you for sharing Diana. I especially resonate with your first point! I’d probably also put trips trips and doing things on my own on my success list too because it is something I have grown nervous over the years about doing. I took myself on a solo spa trip for my bday in Jan and have also now done a solo hotel stay - just for me! I feel more comfortable in my own company the more I do these little things for myself and sense of joy is immense whilst doing them. Here’s to more solo travel, exploration and joy in the uncomfortable moments for us both!
👏👏💛
🙌🙌
When I work in hospital, I can often see a mood shift in patients and even colleagues, due to my uplifting spirit. I do get cards or presents just because they felt something more was given. This will be always my biggest success! Got an audition for a show in town! 🍀
Marta I absolutely love this. Your energy is doing wonders for people that I’m sure really need it at that time. And 🥳 to you getting an audition for a job in town. I hope it went / goes well 🙏🏾